Gone for a Minute

I have been away for a while.  I can't say I was living on a fancy island for a with no internet access and I can't say I was discovered and ran away to Milan for their fall fashion shows.  Nope.  I have been living with my Mom and six month old baby.  That's all.  Just here.  Like I am in high school again.  Only I guess I didn't have a baby in high school so now there is two of us crammed into a room.

We had to move out of our house about ten weeks ago and since then we have been on a housing roller coaster which started with us having to move in with our parents.  We are so blessed to have parents who actually wanted us around only I am pretty sure without the baby it wouldn't have been offered so easily.  I am living with my Mom and my hubs is two hours away so he can be close to work.  We see each other on weekends.  Not ideal especially for newlyweds like us and extra especially since we have a baby now.  Did I mention we STILL haven't been out on a date night in six months?  That one year anniversary just came and went and we spent it at Cheesecake Factory with baby.  It was actually pretty fun only someday somehow somewhere the hubs and I need a moment to ourselves.

After three offers on three houses all which crashed and burned (one literally) we are on to our fourth and SHOULD be moving in two weeks.  A real house.  All to ourselves.

I hope to start writing again.  Since the new house has a room for my office.  MY OWN OFFICE! Right next to the baby room it should be easier.

Love to my bloggie friends and hope you are all doing just fab!

Can I Get a Chair

Last night I spent most of a lovely evening out with good friends in a bathroom stall.  Let me explain.  It was my husband's good high school and college friend's birthday and we all went to celebrate at a steak house just outside our town.  Baby Posh Play usually loves restaurants so we thought he would do great.  He was such a good baby only he got hungry part way through the night so I whisked him off to the ladies room for a little dinner in a more quiet environment.  The bathroom stall.  I know breastfeeding in public is a controversial issue which seems a little ridiculous to me.  Most of us were breastfed right so why does everyone make such a big deal out of it?  Guys get to peel off their shirts in summer and flash us their sometimes (usually) unattractive bods so who cares if I cover mine up and feed my baby discreetly at a dinner table?  Out of respect for the group I usually skulk away to the nearest bathroom just to avoid confrontation about the appropriateness of public breastfeeding.

So we sat in the bathroom stall.  Baby Posh Play eating away and me chatting with him quietly and enjoying our time together.  The thing is I love him so much I could spend ten minutes with him in a sewer and be completely content.  Only it occured to me.  Why was I sitting in a totally expensive restaurant on a toilet feeding my baby?  Cleanliness issues aside it just isn't that comfortable.  Why has our society tucked away breastfeeding moms and not made more accomodations for them?  If it wasn't 100 degrees here I would probably go to the car only we can't do that here in the summer.  Why can't public establishments at least put a freaking chair in the bathroom for moms to sit down and properly feed their babies?

I started thinking about all the older establishments that we frequent and how many of them have makeup rooms and dressing areas of the bathroom where ladies used to apply makeup, chat and I am assuming breastfeed.

Nordstrom does it right!  I love their plush ladies rooms with a whole room just for breastfeeding.  One mall in our area has family bathrooms where they have breastfeeding areas and stalls, comfortable chairs, flat screen TVs, bottle warmers and more.  I have started trying to only shop there just because it is so much more convenient and I want to support a company that makes accomodations for moms.  As a new Mom it is hard enough figuring everything out that it would be nice if we were actually an accepted part of society and not some group relegated to behind toilet stall doors.

Don't even get me started on those horrible Koala Care diaper changers in public bathrooms.  Not only are they usually in the most inconvenient place in the whole bathroom they are never stalked with the liners they claim should be used.  I have never in my three months of breastfeeding and diaper changing in public bathrooms ever seen a stocked Koala Care diaper changer.  Not even in the expensive steak house.  Come on America let's start treating breastfeeding Moms like the loving women that we are.  Let's at least start building public bathrooms with chairs!

(This cute bathroom chair courtesy of Eddie Ross).

Garage Sale Day

Today was garage sale day which means we are one step closer to our big move.  I finally convinced Mr. Posh Play to part with his beloved college furniture.  It took years so I am pretty proud of myself for finally getting rid of all his junk.

It was a long day in the summer heat.  We made $180 gave $30 to my Brother in Law for working it with us and just deposited $150 in our savings account.  A nice little chunk of money for something fun for the new house.

Have you ever had a garage sale?

Who are the garage sale stalkers who arrive right before it starts and just hover over you until you get everything set up.  Why do they get up before 7:00 A.M. on a Saturday just to peruse other people's junk?  Don't get me wrong.  I am just as much of a sucker for a good deal as the next guy only you will not find me anywhere except for in my pajamas at that time on a weekend morning.

Who is the guy who glued himself to me asking question after question.  Bike parts?  Bikes?  Car covers?  Tarps?  Cell phones?  Old cell phones?  Camping gear?  Who is this biking, car covering, tarp hoarding, cell phone using camper?

Baby Posh Play was totally enthralled by it all and thought it was awesome all these people were coming in our front yard just to see him.

All I know is I am more than ready for a good lazy morning!

(This picture courtesy of PaulaDeen.com and a new website I might have to start reading more).

When a Car and a Fence Meet

I have been writing about our new house we are waiting for short sale approval from the bank on.  We love this house.  It is such a cute house.  It is in the best neighborhood with the best school for Baby Posh Play and he could even walk there.  That is once he starts walking.

Last week our friends drove by the house and saw this.

How can we possibly buy this house knowing that a car could just come through the yard at any moment?  The car went all the way onto the back lawn!  If you are wondering why the yard looks so sad it is because the owners moved out over a year ago and turned the water off.  I was really excited about fixing the yard up and doing some landscaping.

It's official we are homeless as of August 15.  We are packing up our house today and we have absolutely nowhere to go.

Just Thinking

Today I am just thinking about.

-Why a car went through the back fence of the short sale house we are trying to buy.  Why it went over the retaining wall and onto the back yard grass.  Why the selling agent still hasn't told us and why my friends just happened to be driving by and noticed the damage.  Why I can't be one of those people who thinks it will never happen again.  Why I can't even look at the house anymore without wanting to cry. Why there is no way we can buy that house now.

-Why we made another offer on a different house over 24 hours ago and have heard nothing.  Why the selling agent of the new house is on a Disney cruise and I am sitting here.  Why if the Disney cruise has internet service he still hasn't gotten back to us.

-Why Baby Posh Play is growing up so fast.  Why he doesn't fit into newborn diapers anymore and I had to buy size 2 yesterday.  Why he insists on rolling around the house trying to get somewhere, anywhere other than where I put him.  Why he doesn't want to just sleep in my arms anymore like he used to.

-Why my husband's work still has a raise freeze and even though he is doing his new job he isn't getting paid for it and doesn't know when he will get his raise.  Why people don't understand that good employees need to be compensated for a job done right.

-Why it has to be so hot here that we sit inside all day during summer instead of enjoying the outdoors and why we can't find a house with a pool in our price range.  Why I am not floating in the pool that we can't find on a raft with a tall glass of ice cold juice.

-Why some weeks things seem like nothing goes the way you think it should only really it is working out the way it is supposed to you just don't see it that way yet.

Happy 4th of July

It's baby's first 4th of July and we are spending a quiet day at home and then hitting the country for a little down home barbeque with friends.  I think we will miss the fireworks this year since it might be a little too much for the first holiday for Baby Posh Play.

All our love to all our blog friends and hope you each have a wonderful holiday filled with great friends and family!

(This beautiful wedding picture is courtesy of Elizabeth Anne Designs and Open Air Photography).

It's Official

I gave notice yesterday.  I am a Stay at Home Mom.  For the first time in my career I have no idea what I am doing.  I am ready!

My First Baby

Today is all about my first baby otherwise known as our dog Kobe.  I woke up this morning and somehow managed to pull myself together and my baby together in time to get Kobe to his appointment at Petco.  My baby cried the whole way there and continued to cry throughout the store all the way to the back grooming area.  I got an annoyed look from a woman picking up her dog.  Thank you lady.  I needed that this morning.

Finally it was our turn and I handed over Kobe to the grooming attendant.  As I walked away with my baby in his carrier now content and sucking away on his binkie I took a last look at my first baby as he got carried off to the back of the grooming area.  His coat is scraggly and his eyes aren't clear because no one has been wiping them and it is allergy season around here.  He looked so excited just to be leaving us and going off to have a day all to himself without a crying baby and an overtired Mom.

It wasn't like this before our baby.  When I got Kobe in my mid 20's he was my first baby.  I took him everywhere.  I have two designer purses to carry him around in that coordinate with my outfits.  He has more clothes than most kids and multiple leashes and collars.  I took him to designer dog bouiques to pick out outfits.  When I was working in the wine country I would go to gourmet dog bakeries during my lunch hour to pick him out special treats so he would know that I was thinking about him during the day.

He even went on vacation with me and flew riding underneath the seat.  He attended concerts and wine tastings and went to Nordstrom on weekends with me.  He stayed in fancy hotels and went on car trips.  He only used organic products and had various beds around the house in different rooms.

Only when our baby came this treatment came to a screeching halt.  Now he is just one of us.  Getting neglected as we adjust to parenthood of our own child.  We are all neglected.  We all have scraggly hair and unmatching outfits that aren't ironed.  We are all a mess except for our baby.  He gets neatly folded new outfits and looks put together most of the time.  I tried to explain this to Kobe.  That when he was our first baby he got this treatment too.  As soon as we get more comfortable in our new roles things will balance out again.

My brother in law came over the other day with his new dog.  She had a fancy leash and lots of toys and he couldn't stop kissing her and talking to her.  I laughed to myself thinking how much he reminded me of myself not that long ago when I first brought Kobe home.  I told my neighbor that story about how funny he was being and she laughed and said she thought the same thing about me since she had a baby already and thought I was so cute and ridiculous with my dog.  I guess each of us learns how to be a parent through the stages of our life.  My first baby tought me so much about responsibility and love.  Now if we can just get through the adjustment of being real parents and pull ourselves together Kobe might just get another ride in one of those designer bags someday.  Only I actually think he looks a lot happier at the end of a leash walking like a real dog.

(This picture is last year.  Clearly.  I have makeup on and hair done and Kobe looks groomed).

Our Room

I realized this morning after getting off the phone with a friend and old coworker how much everything has changed in the past year.  I went from getting up every morning around 7:30 A.M. and rushing to get ready for work, make lunch and get out the door to spending most of my day in some form of sleeping attire and hardly leaving our room let alone our bed.  Here it is 10:10 A.M. PST and my baby is swinging away sleeping in his swing and I am in bed next to him.  I am still in my A Pea in the Pod pajamas and I have already talked to two people this morning who are much more mobile than us.  The man at Wells Fargo Investments who sounded really on top of his game and awake as he rattled off investment information and my friend who was already packing and getting on the road for a little getaway.  Even before that I got a text from my Mom who was on the ferry on her way to work.  That one probably came in before we even woke up all the way.

It is hard to believe how quickly time has gone by and how much of my day I spend with my baby just looking at him, talking to him and loving every minute with him.  Only at the end of each day how do you explain to anyone what you got accomplished that day?  My husband comes home each evening and asks us how our day was and what we did.  Usually my mind races and I think.  I loved my baby today.  That is about it and I am pretty content with that.

(This picture is one I took by accident when my husband was showing me how to use his way too complicated digital SLR camera.  I like how it just captured a typical moment since our baby has arrived.  Oh and that clock on the nightstand.  I hardly look at it anymore.  Except to time how long my baby is eating).

Our First House

If you have been following our recent house search the last time I posted we had our hearts set on this lovely house with our own pool!  That house wasn't meant for us and after many tears and some depression filled days we might have found something we like even more!

We went with our realtor to the town we are moving to last week one evening after my husband got off work.  Imagine a Land Rover with the baby in the back with me and my husband up front with our realtor in rush hour traffic.  Not the best time of day to take a baby house searching only with our schedule we have to make it work when we can!

We looked at a house with a pool in the back in the country and I decided living next to neighbors with a cow skull in their front yard as a lawn ornament was just too far of a stretch even for a girl who likes to crank up the country tunes on the radio sometimes.  Then we looked at the house that we used to think was the house of our dreams and we both decided after looking at it again we were dazzled by the house the first time and it just wasn't doing it for us.  Which is a good thing since our loan never would have gone through with the wood shingle roof in shambles and a half completed master bathroom.  I started to get really sad.  I even thought I might throw up.  Where would we live?  I looked at our baby and my husband and imagined us moving into one of those exective apartments you pay month to month or a hotel payable by the week.  I couldn't handle it.  Not with all the changes of having a new baby and packing and moving and repacking and moving again.

Our realtor said he had one more house for us.  It was on a busy road and I tried really hard to nix it.  My husband wouldn't budge.  He wanted to see it.  I agreed mostly after being so defeated by the house search which has been going on for weeks.  I couldn't even look out the window and then the car stopped so I lifted my head and there it was.  The most adorable house I have seen during our house hunt so far!  I jumped outside and ran around and got the baby out of the car and hurried up these quaint little brick and concrete stairs onto the sweetest little patio which looked out over rolling hillsides and beautiful estates.  Here in this million dollar neighborhood one little house just our size sits on the corner.  I couldn't wait to go in and I shuffled my feet nervously until the door was opened.  Once we finally stepped inside I couldn't believe it.  PLANTATION SHUTTERS throughout the house and beautiful wood floors.  So they are really laminate only who is really going to snub their nose at that when the house is so completely great in almost every way.  A formal living room, dining room and then a casual family room with a kitchen and even room for a table.  An office for my husband and three bedrooms and two bathrooms.  The master bathroom is hilarious and black and white tile only totally fixable in the long run.  There are weird little things about the house like the most dizzying shades of paint.  Yellow family room with a red entertainment nook.  Really?  Only again totally something we can redo.  The house was the sad punching bag in a bitter divorce so someone ripped out the guest bathroom sink fixture and the heating unit off the wall.  Now that's what I call a fight!  The yard has been left without water for over a year so the landscaping is sad only easily replaced once the water gets turned back on.  The back yard even has a play set ready playing.

I couldn't hold back any longer.  I wanted to sing and dance and clap my hands loudly for everyone to hear.  Our house!  A house that our little baby boy can learn to walk in and sit in his high chair for the first time.  A place where a wreath would look just beatiful on the front door around the holidays and a tree can be placed with all white lights right in the front window for all the neighbors to enjoy.  As we drove away I yelled happily.

It's not even a freaking short sale!

Why did I say it?  Why?  It turns out the house is a short sale and with our recent history with another short sale who knows how it will go.  All I know is this house is made for us.  It has to be our home.  I hope it is our home. 

How to Find Home

This picture makes me cry every time I look at it.  This was the day we brought our baby home.  Those decorations.  Those were put up by the best neighbors anyone could ask for who decorated our yard for our arrival.

To most people it just looks like your average track house.  There are probably thousands just like it dotting the state.  The same exact floor plan.  The same exact stucco cracking in the same exact places.  The same exact desert beige paint color.  Whenever I think about our neighborhood that song from Weeds pops in my head.

Little boxes little boxes little boxes all made of ticky tacky.

The difference is this house has been our home for some of our most important moments.

My husband and I moved in together in this house.  My husband proposed to me in this house when he got too nervous to follow his original plan to propose in the restaurant at dinner.  We celebrated our engagement with friends and family and everyone who has melted together in our world along with a chocolate fondue fountain which threatened to fling melted chocolate on every wall in the place.  We celebrated 30th birthday parties and a Super Bowl and even those nights when nothing to celebrate is going on at all.  We planned our wedding in this house and the guest bedroom was littered with bits of ribbon and smelled like burning glue from my glue gun for nights on end.  We created our baby in this house and found out I was pregnant in our master bathroom before my bridal shower.  My husband put together baby furniture in this house and yelled at baby furniture in this house as he struggled with cheap Chinese wood and incomplete sets.  I was pregnant in this house and was on partial bed rest in this house and then on March 23 my water broke right on the guest bathroom rug.  Only this house was never really as much of a home as it is today when we brought our baby home.  In the two months since then our home has become more and more loving each day and a place we seek refuge and can hide away from everyone and just be with each other.

As we continue looking for a new house we create new memories in this house.  I can't believe we are leaving.  When the new renters came through a month ago they asked me about this house and tears filled my eyes and I looked at the woman staring back at me and my heart ached.  I mumbled something about engagements and weddings and she smiled and nodded with that understanding that only women share.  I wanted her to know what was started in this house.  My family.

There has to be another house out there just waiting to become our home.

Birthday Blessings

Last night I woke up at about 11:50 P.M. about an hour after I went to bed to a groaning baby.  I couldn't take it.  I was exhausted.  I yelled for my husband who was still up working to come change the baby.  He didn't hear me so I got really angry.  There is something about the middle of the night that just pulls the grouchy out of me.  I fed the baby.  Changed the baby.  Got him back to sleep and put myself into a grouchy state of slumber.

I woke up this morning to my phone ringing and looked at the time 8:45 A.M.  I sprung into action. I asked my husband what he was still doing here and he was late to work.

Then my lovely man explained he took the day off to watch the baby and keep me company.  A big thing for a newly unworking Mom who does get a little bored at times without adult interaction.  Then he proceeded to make me the most melt in your mouth caramel soy latte and french toast.  Happy Birthday to me!

I am now sitting here with a baby playing under his Baby Einstein play mobile thing and a husband working quietly on the couch next to me on his laptop with our Yorkie curled up on the top of the couch soaking up the little bit of warmth coming through the window.

My husband apologized and said he has been so busy with work and baby and life and house shopping that he didn't pick out a present for me yet and needed to go shopping.  Only the best present I could ever ask for is this moment right here right now.

(For all my bloggy friends here is one of my favorite wedding pictures of us leaving the ceremony headed to the reception.  A lovely picture by the talented Phil Paik).

It's Been a While

It has definitely been a long time since I picked up my laptop to write.  Last year I got married in October and then we had our amazing baby boy this March.  I barely remember my own name most days which translates to a major lack of sleep.

I have done nothing with our wedding pictures yet and the harassment from family hasn't stopped.  Just looking at the pictures today it seems like it was forever ago.  I can't even remember the last time I put on some cute heels.  Yesterday I went to the mall with my neighbor and put on some chunky summer espadrills and they were off by the time we got into Nordstrom from the mall parking lot and replaced with flip flops.

I don't know how much I will get to write.  Between adjusting to life as a stay at home Mom and house shopping we are pretty busy only I realized today how much I miss writing.

I hope everyone has had a wonderful year filled with happiness and love.

(My own fabulous wedding shoes which I can't believe I actually wore while pregnant!  Picture by Phil Paik).

Baby Bump at 17 Weeks

Here we go...since I don't have any good professional wedding pictures to share yet...we should be getting them in the next month...here is the first of our baby bump pictures.

As you can see our doggie is pretty excited about his new friend too!

I can't believe how quickly everything is happening.  It was less than a month ago that I was walking down the aisle.  The past two years were so filled with wedding planning that our baby surprise right at the wedding countdown just made everything even more of an amazing celebration.  We are blessed to already have a growing family.

I am sad we didn't start the baby bump pictures sooner.

Animal Lamps

Lately everything reminds me of the 80's.  It seems like they are back everwhere and anywhere...including kids rooms which just makes me laugh.

One of my friends when I was growing up had this awesome lamp and this picture just totally brought me back to those days of being a kid.  I definitely think that we will be using lots of 80's influences in our baby room because we both were children of the 80's and it seems like there is no escaping that decade for a while!

Grey Nursery Inspiration

Today is our cleaning day.  We have been back from our honeymoon for about two weeks and have done nothing with our house since before the wedding...and it shows.  Today my hubby scrubbed the house top to bottom.  He wouldn't let me near the strong chemicals he insists on cleaning with (so much for my nice organic cleansers from my single days) and he outfitted me with some thick black plastic gloves and gave me the easy jobs like dusting (with gloves on) and doing light cleaning (with gloves on).

Our big goal for the day was to clear out "my office" which has become the dumping ground for everything having to do with our wedding.  This room is our future baby room so we need to get busy and figure out what to do with all the wedding leftover stuff.

We finished the cleaning and didn't get too far with the clearing out of wedding boxes...this adorable nursery is keeping me motivated.

I really like the grey walls with the color accents.  In a month we find out if those accents will be pink or blue!

Still Me Just Different

This morning we had a little staff meeting at work and they brought in coffee and bagels. I had already devoured a bagel with cream cheese and strawberry jam from home so I didn't have a bagel only I grabbed a coffee. Not even a coffee...I grabbed about 1/4 of a cup of coffee and filled the cup with cream and sugar. I took a sip and was immediately reprimanded by one of my bosses for drinking coffee.

I probably had four sips out of the cup all morning and poured the cup out. It just got me wondering...who am I now?

I went from myself to bride in training to mom in two short years and suddenly I find myself in a whole new world with new rules and new fears and somewhere along the way this is the person I have grown into.

Every night I look at myself and barely recognize my body and it hits me...my life is changing faster than it ever has. Everyone has their opinions and their ideas only I am the only one (along with my hubby) who can really decide what our little one's life will start out as.

For now I am trying the best I know how...even if sips of coffee gets me through the day and someone has an issue with it. I am proud of myself even if the world doesn't agree with everything I do. I think I know what I am doing...at least I know I am figuring it out as I go.

The Stork and Posh Play and Family

I know many wedding blogs become baby blogs shortly after the big day...so why not mix things up a little bit?!

The stork will be visiting the Posh Play house next year and we are going to be parents!

Our little baby is due at the end of March so that makes me...a pregnant bride. We have realized quickly how much we don't have control over our lives and how blessings can come when they are not expected.

I have been a slow blogger lately since I just can't seem to get the energy together to say anything after working all day.

Thank you to all you lovelies for all your support during our wedding planning process. We are two weeks away!

I am just so excited to walk down the aisle with a little one with me instead of by myself.