Thursday, May 27, 2010

How to Find Home


This picture makes me cry every time I look at it.  This was the day we brought our baby home.  Those decorations.  Those were put up by the best neighbors anyone could ask for who decorated our yard for our arrival.

To most people it just looks like your average track house.  There are probably thousands just like it dotting the state.  The same exact floor plan.  The same exact stucco cracking in the same exact places.  The same exact desert beige paint color.  Whenever I think about our neighborhood that song from Weeds pops in my head.

Little boxes little boxes little boxes all made of ticky tacky.

The difference is this house has been our home for some of our most important moments.

My husband and I moved in together in this house.  My husband proposed to me in this house when he got too nervous to follow his original plan to propose in the restaurant at dinner.  We celebrated our engagement with friends and family and everyone who has melted together in our world along with a chocolate fondue fountain which threatened to fling melted chocolate on every wall in the place.  We celebrated 30th birthday parties and a Super Bowl and even those nights when nothing to celebrate is going on at all.  We planned our wedding in this house and the guest bedroom was littered with bits of ribbon and smelled like burning glue from my glue gun for nights on end.  We created our baby in this house and found out I was pregnant in our master bathroom before my bridal shower.  My husband put together baby furniture in this house and yelled at baby furniture in this house as he struggled with cheap Chinese wood and incomplete sets.  I was pregnant in this house and was on partial bed rest in this house and then on March 23 my water broke right on the guest bathroom rug.  Only this house was never really as much of a home as it is today when we brought our baby home.  In the two months since then our home has become more and more loving each day and a place we seek refuge and can hide away from everyone and just be with each other.

As we continue looking for a new house we create new memories in this house.  I can't believe we are leaving.  When the new renters came through a month ago they asked me about this house and tears filled my eyes and I looked at the woman staring back at me and my heart ached.  I mumbled something about engagements and weddings and she smiled and nodded with that understanding that only women share.  I wanted her to know what was started in this house.  My family.

There has to be another house out there just waiting to become our home.

3 comments on "How to Find Home"

(JIN) Love, Loss & Lacquer on May 27, 2010 at 11:33 AM said...

What a beautiful post...my husband and I just got our first apartment together a week ago and are so excited about the memories that we will create.

alliehallmarr on May 27, 2010 at 7:40 PM said...

This is so beautiful. I remember feeling the same way when we moved out of our last apartment. It was the house I found out I was pregnant in, our first place in GA, and where we lived for the majority of my pregnancy.

Just think of all the new memories you will get to make in your new (owned!!) house! I can't wait until we can buy instead of rent. It's so hard to say goodbye :(

little luxury list on May 28, 2010 at 8:48 AM said...

This is so sweet. Our first place was a studio in a grad student dorm in London. Now that we have our own place in Singapore and are slowly furnishing it, we're excited about all the memories we'll build here.

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